Saturday Reflections: I Found God… Virtually

Church Online vision – 2010 from The Adamsons on Vimeo.

I am a virtual assistant and I do almost everything online. I work, socialize, and connect with friends who were thousand miles away from me. When I started working as a virtual assistant, I didn’t know this will also bring me back to a new journey. A road I once ran away from… I didn’t know I can find God… virtually.

For the past 10 years of my life, I have drifted far away from God. Played my own role as a superhero. Pretended I can do everything without any help from anybody, from my parents, husband or even God. I said to myself, whatever material things I have right now, is all because of me… me… me… Its because I work hard, its because I worked long hours, and it is because of my abilities. I forgot the very reason of my existence.
When I gave up my managerial position in a well-known Call Center in Manila, I hit rock bottom. I thought it was the end of everything for me and for my family. I lost all the material things that I once enjoyed. Car, high salary, respect from my subordinates, and living in a well known village. That moment, I questioned God. I remember saying these words to Him: “If you are truly a caring and loving God, why do you have to let us face big challenges and problems that is way too big for us to handle?” I was in a breaking point.
When I started working virtually, I was amazed at how technology can help people like me who can enjoy work right at the comforts of our home. Little did I know, it was leading me to another path…
I met a client last year Pastor Rich Birch. It was several months after that I realized, he was actually God sent. He was the one who introduced me to an online church called Liquid Church… The first time I heard of an “online church” I was very hesitant. I doubted whether this will work… or whether this online church thing will give me what I was looking for… and I was right… It wasn’t the same because it was even better. It gave me more that what I could ask for….
It lead me back to God…
The first time I attended Liquid church, I wasn’t able to finish the worship service. Halfway through it, my eyes are all covered with tears. Tears I can’t even explain. A feeling that words can not describe… It was the first time in 10 long years that I prayed again. With my whole heart… The first time I ever gave my full attention to God….nothing else.
As days passed by and as I began to get to know the people at Liquid Church… I was surprised with the amount of care, and love that I received. People who are thousand miles away and who I never even met physically are praying for and with me. Uttering words as if they knew all the time the problems, emotions and burdens that I am going through at that time. This to me is more than a miracle…
I was also starting to change… my habits, my thinking, my faith…. everything started to make sense… even those that I cannot understand…
To most of us Filipinos, this maybe a whole new thing for us. We are all accustomed to the traditional way of going to church. Getting up early, getting dressed, bringing our Bibles and attending church. But right after we step out of the church doors, we go back to our own lives, still disconnected from God.
I have been attending online church since August… my life is still full of trials and problems. More often, problems that I feel I can not handle… But the difference now is that I know deep within me that I am no longer alone. That I have a whole online church community that I can pray with. And more importantly, that despite my weaknesses, I have God, loving me wholeheartledly, and holding my hands in this journey…
Yes online church isn’t the same thing as going to physical church. You don’t have to worry about how you look, or what dress to wear. You don’t have to worry about other people staring at you as you cry your heart out in prayer. You don’t have to be afraid or letting your emotions flow even in the middle of the message because every online worship is a personal connection with God. Your own personal moment, where you can truly be yourself, no worries, no masks.
I am still inside that “dip”… that breaking point… but now… I have hope… I have faith… and I have God…
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